One Year Today...

Today marked the one year anniversary of Mom's death. It wasn't a very happy day, I started it last night actually by ordering flowers online -- the same type of flowers I had dedicated from her funeral spray from Me and the family- yellow roses and stargazer lillies and snapdragons- Stargazer lillies are kinda my signature flower to know its from me :) . I had them sent to Deb's house so when she went to the cemetery to visit Mom today, she could take them with her and place them at Mom's stone for me. That's the thing about being way down here- I can't visit my family or Mom when ever i want like they can and it really pisses me off and Tom has no inclination of ever moving back -.After I ordered the flowers, I called Deb and let her know the flowers would be coming tomorrow, then went to bed and said a prayer for Mom and broke down and had a good cry after talking to her took her picture of us on my dresser and went to sleep. I woke up an hour or so later and called Doug and dad and chatted a bit told them I loved them, we talked of Mom then hung up and went back to sleep as I had to get up early and volunteer at Thomas' school at the book fair his school is having. It did me good as it took my mind off for a while, and before I knew it, it was 10:30 and time to go home.By the time I got home, made lunch, took care of Brendan and housework, the day was half over . My mind was pretty much occupied for the day. Before I forgot I went to church and lit a candle for Mom and said a prayer for her to the Blessed Mary. Then I had to race back and go pick up Thomas from school and by the time I was home it was 3:10, and I had to keep them quiet for the rest of the day because Tom works from home doing conference calls all day so that's always fun - yeah so are getting shots! Before we knew it it was time to make dinner and then off to bed and time to relax This day just whizzed by. It's almost as if I didn't have time to reflect and mourn and miss Mom - I kinda feel guilty! I still have that empty hole in me that i wonder if will ever go away .. I'm thankful my mind was kepy occupied, but still had the solemness that kept Tom a bit baffled as to what the hell was wrong with me today - He thought I was mad at him- I said today's the anniversary of my Mom's death- I'm just not in the mood today - he was like "oh yeah"... and just left me alone. Little by little the hole will heal I guess. The question is - Do I ever want it heal??Anyway, I love you Mom, we miss you, always have, always will. Thank you for watching over us and keeping us safe, and may God Bless you as well, as you are at peace now and free from sickness . You're where you spent half your life teaching others about His wonderous love, life and eternity. What goes around really DOES come around! "Live in me and I shall live in you".. Ironic..:) God Bless You Mom You are forever loved and missed.

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Brendan's Baptism

Today was Brendan's Baptism . What a day. First it started out stormy. Then it turned sunny. At church they forgot to turn on the air conditioning and I thought I was going to nearly pass out from heat stroke!Thomas looked so handsome in his three piece suit and Brendan looked so adorable in his satin suit- It was passed down from Thomas when he was Brendan's age. It fit him like a glove. Right down to the socks! All I had to buy was the shoes! My mother had given me this BEAUTIFUL gold cross necklace for Brendan to wear at Christmastime Before she passed away.I wonder if she knew she was sick And was making plans...or in any case she passed away last May when Brendan was only5 weeks old.I asked the priest to say a little something and mention Mom's name -maybe dedicate Brendan's Baptism perhaps in her name if he could in her name since this May will be one year since her passing of cancer last May, He said he would see what he could do- Maybe mention her name in the homily or something. I was listening, but didn't hear anything, although it WAS kinda noisy in the crying room with all the kids- well I tried anyway..In any case, I made SURE he wore that necklace today to ensure her spirit was there and well because when she gave it to me she said " I'd like Brendan to wear this when he get's Baptized" who am I to deny my dead mother's wish ? Not that I would DREAM of doing that just - pssh- not even worth talking about! It just gets done! Period! I wore her and my dad in a picture in a pin on my blazer {dad's still alive He's up in N.Y. just WISH he was here}- but the reminder of him here was there in spirit} Father Joe Connolly who performed the Baptism LOVES children and was the perfect man for the job- there were only two babies there- Brendan and another little baby maybe a month or so old. Little girl. Thomas was the Church clown- Kid would NOT stand still! Or sit still or stop running up and down the aisle,- at he end he TRIPPED the priest for heavens sake! I was like WILL YOU SIT DOWN! I was beyond embarrasssment! I know he just wanted some of the attention focused on him for a bit but cmon! Getting back, Brendan was a bit clueless as to what the deal was what was going on, He was antsy, loud, Daddy held him, OK cool, then held him back and wait what? My hair gets doused? Not cool! He was a lil perturbed at that but got over it. He got a little fidgety again when it came to Doug's turn with the Holy cloth, Then after a bit finally settled down and the ceremony began to wind down after the candle lighting. Richard my BIL took some good pictures. After we went to the Crab Trap restaurant for lunch where he was an angel. Tonight he was exhausted of the days events after a nights bath and quickly passed out for the night. SO was today's eventful excursion. My lil' angel has been officially Baptized! God Bless you sweetheart I love youu!

Mote Marine Field Trip

Today Thomas went on his very first school field trip! {well maybe not exactly his VERY first because he went on some field trips in Vprekindergarten at La Petite Preschool} But with his Elementary school now, this WAS his very first field trip. They went to Mote Marine Laboratories and Aquarium. I had submitted the permission form back in January when I broke my nose and had my seizure So I was expecting not to be able to go and not be able to drive, otherwise I would have been ALL over this trip as a chaperone! They hired 2 charter buses instead of school buses for the occasion at 20.00 per child.Thomas woke me up at 6:45 this morning frantic that he was gonna be late for school and miss his field trip! He was so excited! He got me out of bed,went to his closet,picked out his clothes, and underwear and socks, and laid them out on his bed{ which he NEVER does!}and said"see? I got my clothes ready! I'm a big helper , right mom? "and told me what he wanted for breakfast instead of me asking 40 times in a row,he was on the ball and ready to go to school by 7:30 this morning! He had a whole extra half hour to do whatever he pleased for a whole till it was time to go to school! I wish EVERY day was field trip day if the mornings started out like that! Before Thomas left, I told him I wanted to hear all about it when he got back as I had to watch Brendan and couldn't chaperone so I couldn't wait till 3 to pick him up and see how it all went. I found out he DID get a little nervous when he got dropped off at 8:30 and saw the charter buses pulling away, that Thomas thought they were late, but the buses were just moving to a different spot. He still had time- they still needed to take attendance then they would leave.Thomas had a bit of a heart attack there! LOL. Tom offered to drive him to Mote Marine if he had to which I found very sweet-to catch up with his class- Now that's a hell of a dad that would do that! After we picked up Thomas from school, boy did he have alot to tell! From sharks to squids,to manatees to sea turtles,and stingrays to jellyfish to seahorses, there was just no containing his excitement! Especially when it came to pufferfish! That was his highlight! He saw pufferfish and balloonfish and a giant squid and he was set for the day. He could go home! LOL. I must admit, I'm a bit jealous I couldn't go and had to stay home and watch the 'lil guy . Maybe it's just one of those family outings in the makings ... I'm just glad he had such a good time!

Wall Diving

Right before dinner Brendan decided to take a header into the corner of Thomas' wall in his room! I literally WATCHED the bruise form on Brendan's head ! I immediately grabbed the ice pack from the freezer and stuck it on Brendan's head- he was so miserable! after a bit he calmed down, but oh! It's like he did it in slow motion! He was holding onto my fingers going into Thomas' room, then his little hands just slid off my fingers and he just dove into the corner of the wall! What a nightmare and what a bruise! that's gonna leave a mark for a few days! Good thing it's bath night- that always cheers him up! Here's my lil wall banger and the culprit...

Happy Easter!

Today is Easter Sunday- the Easter bunny left some yummy treats this morning for the boys and we dressed up in our Sunday best for church. Boy was Church packed! It was Standing room only! Thomas didn't even have a seat- he had to sit on the floor! I squeezed over in the crying room for the babies where we usually sit and made room for him. Tom's mom, me and Thomas and Brendan allwent. I still can't sing the hymns as of yet it's still to upsetting and I still cry thinking of Mom as I sing. Thomas was looking at me trying to figure out what was wrong with me why I was crying , I just miss Mom so much, I just don't think anyone really knows just how much her death has really affected me . I keep it bottled up alll inside. When I try to sing the hymns - especially her favorite ones { which happen to be mine too} I start crying silently. Anyway, Tom made a delicious turkey and green bean caserole and potatoes and salad and corn on the cob for dinner. Everything was perfect and dissapeared. Perfectly yummy! Now it's bathtime for the boys . Another day and holiday has come and gone. Back to school tomorrow. One more month and school is out for summer! wow! that went by fast! Whered the time go? He just started!

Brendan's Baptism Plans

I finally arranged for Brendan's Baptism. I"m going to have him wear Thomas' Baptismal outfit since they were the same age, and weight and size and My neice Lauren is going to be the Godmother and Brother Doug is flying down to be the Godfather. It's going to be on the 15 of April. I was trying for so long to have it up north with family, but the money just wasn't there, and what's inportant is that he just gets Baptized! So here's the invitations I made up last night for Tom's immediate family. I really wish MY side of the family could be there But they're all up in New York and I'm here :( - This long distance Family thing really sucks! We'll just have to make due, and remember them in my prayers .I'll be up over the summer, we'll just have to see them then but it just won't be the same.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm being banned from the Kitchen.. Tom and Thomas are cooking me a surprise Birthday Dinnerand dessert- - They just got back from Sam's with diapers and supplies for dinner. I wonder what he's gonna make? I'll let ya know in future post. All I know is I'm hungry and flattered he remembered! I'll post a pic if I can .. My MIL bought me flowers, So far its turning out nice.. Kids have been good , 37- 40's creepin up fast! About dinner - looks like I'm gonna have to work out a little extra, but ooh was dinner good! Fattening, but good!Sorry I couldn't post a pic of dinner- Everybody grabbed it so fast and ate it, I didn't get a chance to take a picture of it! He made fried shrimp, steak wrapped in bacon, plus stuffed potatoes with bacon crumbles on top, and fried cheesesticks for an appetizer-Yummy! all my favorites! Basically a heart attack on a plate! OK so he bought those but I LOVE those! and He even bought me a cake and had Happy Birthday MOM written on it- { Thomas was with him so I guess he was feeling whimsy} That was soo sweet though! so all in all I had a very nice birthday! and for now I'm gonna go - kids are off tomorrow- KID I should say lets not rush things! for Good Friday so I'm gonna get some well needed rest for tomorrows bringings- tom has to work and I have to find a way to keep them quiet ALL DAY which is no small feat! Plus I wanna thank him for my birthday dinner So gnite all! talk to ya tomorra!

There Goes Another One!

Tom& I Picked Thomas up from school today and discovered his tooth had fell out! It had been loos for a week or so now, and he had been playing with it wiggling it back and forth and we kept telling him to stop playing with it because it was gonna fall out at school and he was gonna be out of luck and loose it and then be really sad and sorry. Sure enough , it fell out at school , and he was sent to the nurses office { or clinic as he called it} and hte gave him this little tooth keeper to keep his tooth in around his neck until he gets home. so now he has a matching gaping hole in his mouth- one on the bottom, one on the top- if wind blew he could make sweet music! LOL Nutjob- I didn't think that tooth was supposed to come out so soon- but I guess its gonna come out when its gonna come out I guess! Until the next one!